Index
of contents.
Index
of contents.
A good joke, from Yes Minister (click here for information on Yes Minister #YM ) ,about politics and politicians. This does apply to Indian politiics / politicians than Brits. Click here for the article
An explanation of the various ,if not all honours (Ex: Knighthood... like Sir Bradman) also from Yes Minister. #Hon
For those of you young people who just can't con yer parents into increasing yer allowance by arguing and debate, here are some tips for you #Tips
Funny one-liners from the world of computers Computers .
Check out a few cool, assorted jokes. #Red
Yes Minister was a television series by
the BBC.
It was written by Jonathan Lynn and Antony
Jay.
It was a huge success, being simply masterful
in revealing, in a humorous way, the red tapism and politics.
I would recommend everyone who can read
the English language to read this 'Bible / Bhagwad Gita / Koran' of British,
nay, worldly comedy.
Politics
from the eyes of a fictional politician.
Person #1:-'There's
nothing special about man, Mr Hacker. We are not above nature. We're part
of it. Men are animals too you know'
Jim Hacker, Minister of Department of
Administrative affairs:- Obviously I knew that.. I have just come from
the House of Commons. [This is obviously a joke in England/Britain, but
a very solid fact, nay, an axiom in India. - Editor]
Honours
from the eyes of the red tapists of Whitehall.
'You get your G after your K. G is short
for Grand Cross. K is a Knighthood. Each department (of the government)
has its own honours. The DAA (Department of Administrative affairs) gets
the Bath -Sir Humphrey was, at this time, a KCB and would have been hoping
for his G -thus becoming a Knight Grand Cross of the Bath. In the FCO (Foreign
and Commonwealth Office) the honours are the Cross of St. Michael and St.
George -CMG, KCMG and GCMG. The Foreign office is not popular through the
rest of the civil service, and it is widely held that CMG stands for 'Call
Me God', the KCMG for 'Kindly Call Me God' and the GCMG for 'God Calls
Me God' as explained by the Editor.
#1:- As a first try, tell your DAD (or MOM,
whoever is the softer one [I don't mean literally]) about a certain hypothetical
expense which will equal your requested allowance raise.
Literal translation into simple language:-
Fake an expense. Like ,for example, if you own a Parker(R) Roller Ball
or Ball pen, fake a few refills which cost around $1 or Rs 40 or Euro 0.80
or Pounds 0.57(NB- Subject to exchange rates)......[This ploy always works
for me]
#2:- If this doesn't work, do the following.
[Warning:= Only those people whose parents don't object to their going
out with girls should apply this ploy -Ed]
Make up a hypothetical Girl/Boy Friend
and make sure that the hypothetical G/B f's birthday falls on the third
day from now.
#3:- Talk something like the following
extract from Yes Minister [The words were said by Sir Humphrey to Jim Hacker
explaining as to why the day to day administration should be left with
the Permanent Under Sec viz. Sir Humphrey -Ed]
'Minister, the traditional allocation of
executive responsibilities has always been so determined as to liberate
the Ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae by devolving
the managerial functions to those whose experience and qualifications have
better formed them for the performance of such humble offices, thereby
releasing their political overlords for the more onerous duties and profound
deliberations that are the inevitable concomitant of their exalted position'
[NB:= If you understood the above impenetrable
prose during the first reading, you ought to be in my place. Please note,
the previous note is not applicable for the civil servants/ government
servants of any country/ planet. -Ed]
#4:- If the above fails, call me and join
my team as a part timer and hopefully earn some money.
The best book on programming for the laymen
is Alice in Wonderland..
That's because its the best book on anything
for the layman.
One person's data is another person's error.
To err is human ... to forgive is beyond
the scope of the operating system
What
would have happened if Bill Gates were to be the Devil Himself???
Ans: Hell would have a monopoly over afterlife
resting places, and would be full of bugs!!!!
A
family of four lived in a row house. Once, while outdoor toilets were being
built, Grandpa came visiting. Now, Grandpa had been warned about the diggings
by his son, but unfortunately, one night, he fell into one of the pits.
He started shouting "Fire Fire", and, in due course,
was rescued. His son later asked,"Pops, why the hell were you shouting
'Fire Fire'?, to which his 12 year son replied,"Dad, have you ever heard
of anyone being rescued, who had been shouting 'SHIT SHIT'?". His poor
Grandpa could only try to suppress his laughter.
A van filled with glass crashed with a lamp-post while
backing. That jolted the whole van and shattered 3 panes of the cargo.
The driver got out and was inspecting the damage.
In the meanwhile, a sizeable crowd had gathered.
Suddenly, an old man came running and asked the
driver aloud,"Will you have to pay for this out of your own pocket?", to
which the driver replied in the affirmative. Then, the old man, showing
pity, suggested that every kind gentleman present should contribute
a bit so that the driver's pocket can be spared. He collected a lot of
money in his hat and handed it over to the driver. Then, his work having
been done, he walked away.
A little later, the driver remarked to one of
the bystanders,"Now that's a smart operator".
The passer-by was bewildered and seeked an explanation
to which the drives said,"That man who was here is my BOSS"